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- FAQs Web Update:
- 1. Question:
I have been in a program of cognitive therapy to correct patterns of
thinking that are negative about myself, the future, and about the world
around me. In other words, I tend to imagine the worst will happen.
I'm working hard to change and a friend recommended your book and your
method. I worry that if all the pain that my thinking patterns cause
me go away all at once that I may lose my incentive to work on my negative
thinking patterns. What do you think about combining what I have been
doing and your method of emotional self-management?
- Answer: You're asking a very insightful
question. Will taking away an emotional distress (fear or pain) remove
the incentive to continue using a cognitive therapy that is helping
you correct distorted thinking patterns? We do not believe that thought
energy therapies will replace other therapies, but your question is
about the motivation to persist with another therapy. Let us assume
for a moment that the 'fear' and 'pain' you are referring to are associated
with the consequences of your behaviors that resulted from 'crooked'
thinking (the pain from the loss of an important relationship, or fear
of failing at an important task ahead). When the 'unproductive' pain
or fear is removed we are still left with the memory of what has happened
to us and the rational knowledge that without changing our patterns
of behavior another loss or another failure is still probable. It has
been our observation that people are able to benefit from other therapies
more rapidly when the unproductive emotional distress has been reduced
or eliminated. Notice we have said UNPRODUCTIVE distress. Thought energy
therapies such as our method, called Emotional Self-Management, do not
eliminate productive emotional distress. For example, a person with
a fear related to an upcoming event or situation (let's say making a
presentation at work) will be able to eliminate the unproductive portion
of that fear, the incessant worry that catastrophe will take place,
the high levels of anxiety that prevent concentration, the dread that
may elicit an avoidance behavior. What will not be eliminated are the
excitement and the knowledge that proper preparation, which is necessary
to make the presentation a success -- we would consider this productive
energy. A person who has lost some important relationship, a love, a
family member, a good friend, due to poor relationship skills or from
behaviors that put a wedge in the relationship, can eliminate the unproductive
guilt and pain of rejection, however, that person may still feel the
longing for a repair of the relationship (productive and motivating).
The power of thought energy therapies has been sometimes mis-portrayed.
They are not 'magic bullets' that take away all of our emotions or feelings.
They are methods to rebalance our emotional energies so that we can
unblock and resolve unproductive emotional loops that prevent us from
learning at our best. Put in another way, do you believe you will learn
a new skill best if you are highly anxious, worried, and have negative
or pessimistic views? Research suggests that we will learn new skills
best with a moderate amount of emotional arousal that is associated
with excitement, engagement in the process of learning, and the challenge
of acquiring new skills. Those are productive feelings that will not
be affected by thought energy therapies. In some cases, those positive
emotions may have been overshadowed by strong negative or unproductive
ones, which when eliminated, allow the positive emotions to be felt
and utilized. ******
2. Question: I have been using your book to great effect. I do have a question, However, I have a general feeling like I am unworthy, a failure, and loser. I am in cognitive therapy for this. However, I was wondering if there is an appropriate tap sequence for this?
Answer: What you describe are really complex
cognitions (thoughts) rather than emotional distress. However, there is
a way to help by using these methods and it deals with treating the underlying
negative life beliefs. That, however, goes beyond the scope of the Tap
Sequences in the book. Cognitive therapy is one effective way, and we're
glad you're using that to help. With thought energy therapy the process
involves targeting the negative life belief and treating it as you would
an emotional target. While we do this mainly using a diagnostic method
involving manual muscle testing (borrowed from Kinesiology) you might
use the Comprehensive Tap Sequence on page 157. Rate the level of strength
of one particular negative life belief (e.g., "I'm unworthy") and go through
the entire ESM protocol from Balanced Breathing, correcting PRs and the
Comprehensive Tap Sequence. You might then use the Optimizer with the
positive goal statement as something like "I am worthy of good things
in life," to install the positive cognition. We'd suggest that you use
this as an adjunct to your cognitive therapy not instead of. * * * *
3. Question: I have bought the book and begun using the methods but I would feel better about applying the technique if I knew for sure that I was doing it right. I understand the SUDS, and the Balanced Breathing. I was wondering a few things. (1) During the Polarity reversals, am I supposed to be thinking about the specific problem or the emotion or can I focus on a general feeling? (2) I also don't know what to think about during the tapping sequence. I also wanted to know exactly where I was supposed to use the intention statement. (3) It takes me about 1/2 hour to do all of this. Is it supposed to be this long and does it get shorter after doing it for a while?
Answer: 1. During the Polarity Reversals
(except for the Global PR) you do need to focus on some aspect of the
distress you are working on. The PRs will not be effective if you are
not thinking about some part of the problem as you make the statements
while tapping the appropriate site (or rubbing in the case of the chest
spot.) 2. The Intention Statements are made during certain Tap Sequences
at the site marked with an * (asterisk). Not all Tap Sequences have Intention
Statements. For those that do, you make each statement 3 times while tapping
the Tap Site marked with a large * (asterisk). 3. There is a learning
curve that you are going through and learning the procedures does take
some time because you are probably reading and then doing. The Procedures
at a Glance section beginning on page 251 is intended to help you get
familiar with the steps and soon you'll be able to just use the guide
on each page of the particular Tap Sequence for specific problems, such
as on page 154. Be patient with yourself. As you get more familiar it
will go faster. * * * *
4. Question: When I do the Bridge I wonder if I am to only do it while tapping the back of one hand or am I supposed to also change hands and do it again while tapping on the back of the other hand too?
Answer: The Bridge is done completely on
one hand. There is no need to duplicate the Bridge while tapping on the
opposite hand. All of our acupressure points exist in a symmetrical pattern
with Tap Sites on both the right and left sides of the body. It is only
necessary to tap on ONE side of the body to make the process work. When
tapping the locations for the Tap Sequences you may use either the right
or left side of the body, and you may alternate from right to left for
different Tap Sites. It makes no difference. Some people like to tap the
corresponding locations on both sides of the body simultaneously (such
as under both eyes or on both sides of the Collarbone), and that's fine
too. * * * *
A reader had this excellent question.
5. Question: I am trying to apply the methods
of The Optimize and am having some problems understanding what you mean
by 'disbelief' that is in the Intention Statements of the Polarity Reversal
corrections (page 209). The statement on page 208 confuses me, that "the
problem now focuses on the negative thought or self-doubt that interferes
with your total belief in yourself."
Answer: The concept of disbelief refers
to whatever stands in the way of you rating your positive goal statement
a +10. It may be different from one person to the next. It may be some
form of self-doubt such as the fact that a person has had some unsuccessful
experiences in the past. The Optimizer is most often used toward performance
related goals -- making a presentation or speech, sports or athletic competitions,
test taking, etc. It is not usually applied to the elimination of such
emotions as anger, guilt, shame, love pain, or regret. Let's say a person
is using The Optimizer for public speaking - after the anxiety has been
eliminated (using the protocol and methods in Parts I, II, and III), the
positive goal statement might be "I can speak before the group with confidence
and competence." In most cases when the anxiety toward a performance-related
goal is eliminated the Validity of that Cognition (the goal statement)
is a + 1 or greater. But it may not be a + 9 or +10 yet. Belief refers
to how believable or 'valid' the statement seems to you at that moment.
The difference between that rating (say a +3) and +10 represent a degree
of disbelief. That disbelief may be self-doubt as mentioned above, or
it may be based on some vague feeling of uncertainty. It is not that a
person still has anxiety or fear, but there is some degree of confidence
lacking. That discrepancy is what we are calling disbelief and the polarity
reversal corrections are targeted on the same themes of deserving, safety,
etc. to eliminate blocks to fully believing or having the positive goal
statement be completely 'valid' The same concept applies to the imagery
component of the Optimizer and therefore the 'disbelief' relates to how
valid or believable the imagery of the goal feels, and we relate the imagery
to how 'real' it feels where cognitions we relate to how true they feel.
We realize that there are some semantic hurdles that are occurring and
we hope you won't get too bogged down in words. The real power of the
Optimizer is installing the positive statement using the tap points as
something like gates or openings that allow the messages (first thoughts,
then images) to be accepted at the deepest levels possible. If, however,
as you are doing the Optimizer you discover an anxiety or frustration,
or other emotion emerge, then you must return to Phase 1 and treat it
as a target problem with an appropriate Tap Sequence to eliminate it before
returning to install the positive goal statement. * * * *
6. Question: A member of my family has been diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and I wondered could your methods help him?
Answer: While our book is not intended as
a treatment for OCD, which is a clinical condition, the methods can be
helpful as part of an overall treatment process. A person with OCD should
be receiving treatment from a specialist in that condition. If your relative
doesn't have a therapist you may find a referral from your local chapter
of the American Psychological Association and you might check with the
national office for a local number, 202-336-5500. The methods of energy
psychology are still very new and most psychologists and psychiatrists
have either not heard of them or are likely to be unfamiliar with using
them as part of an overall treatment plan. The methods described in the
book can be discussed with the specialist to see how they might help in
managing anxiety and stress. This advice is true for any clinical condition
including depression, Schizophrenia, Bi Polar disorder (manic-depression),
sexual dysfunction, or substance dependence/abuse. Such clinical disorders
should be assessed and treated by a qualified mental health professional.
Self-help may be appropriate as part of a comprehensive treatment plan.
* * * *
7. Question: I purchased your tapes and then your book and am still learning the techniques. I have always been able to keep my weight fairly well under control (within about 20 lbs.) until about a year ago. Over the last year, I have gained so that now I am over 60 lbs. overweight. I just can't believe I have allowed this to happen! I have had a lot of external stress the last 2 years, and this is what I attribute the gain to. But, every day I get up I say to myself "You'll start today", and then it seems as the day goes on, I just care less and less about staying with it. The comfort of the food is stronger than the desire to lose weight. I don't have an eating disorder (anorexia, bulimia, or anything like that). A lot of days I don't really eat much at all, just the wrong things...cappuccino instead of lunch or a milk shake instead of supper. I want very much to lose the weight; I feel as if my life is on hold until I get this weight off. Can your method help me with this weight problem?
Answer: The methods in the book and tape
can be useful in managing weight. In most problems with overeating the
underlying factor is anxiety. Anxiety from many sources produces a variety
of behaviors that attempt to calm that anxiety. Food and eating are one
way that many people have developed to calm themselves from stress and
upset or anxious feelings. Eating is handy and available, often reinforced
from childhood experiences and from the good tastes. The way to use ESM
for help is to address the anxiety or stress that is associated with compulsive
urges to eat - particularly between meals or for foods that are 'junk'
or empty of real nutrition. Dieting doesn't work. Eating sensibly and
to nourish your body (not your emotions) is healthy. Apply the Tap Sequence
for compulsive urges on a regular basis before each meal. It will be helpful
to do the Balanced Breathing exercise three times a day (that's only about
5 minutes of time), and correct for Polarity Reversals before you do the
Tap Sequence. For food urges you might also add the Reversal "I deeply
accept myself EVEN IF getting over this urge for food will cause me to
feel deprived." That is sometimes a unique reversal that occurs with compulsive
urges. Rather than wait for food urges to get out of hand, do these procedures
BEFORE your anxiety builds. We have found that after a few weeks of regular
ESM tapping, that the need to tap decreases as your anxiety remains at
a lower level and urges diminish. Remember, exercise and moderate carbs
and fat content are part of balanced good health. Don't get impatient,
work with the method to feel the relief from immediate urges or anxiety,
the weight will come off with consistent use and calming yourself in ways
without food. * * * * *
8. Question: Why does ESM work so quickly?
Answer: According to the theory underlying
thought energy therapies, blocks to resolving emotional distress reside
within one or more of the body's energy systems. Tapping at specific acupressure
points acts to restore the balance and the effects of the balance create
physiological changes. When the disturbance within the energy system is
removed balance is restored virtually immediately.
9. Question: Can ESM help me with problems that are not listed in your book?
Answer: In this book are over two dozen
common emotional problems that people can experience in everyday life.
The Comprehensive Sequence listed in the book may be applied to emotional
targets that are not listed. The methods of Emotional Self-Management
can also be used in a customized way by a properly trained professional
to address the entire spectrum of human emotional distress. Identifying
the proper treatment sequence for complex emotional distresses is accomplished
using manual muscle testing. Such muscle testing requires training and
practice. If an individual is experiencing severe levels of emotional
distress that are impairing life in one or more areas, an assessment by
a qualified mental health professional is recommended. In the Resources
section of the book there are organizations and associations for locating
professionals who utilize thought energy therapies in their practice.
10. Question: I have gotten relief using the ESM methods but my distress does not stay gone permanently. What should I do?
Answer: That you have received some relief
indicates the methods are working for you, and there are several possibilities
to explain why the relief does not last. Problems related to the future
are more likely to need re-treatment. Compulsive urges for food, cigarettes,
alcohol, or other substances are likely to involve elements that produce
polarity reversals, or even act as toxins to the body's energy. A regular
maintenance program developed from chapter 12 will be helpful. In other
cases there may be new aspects of the same problem that develop, which
require re-treatment. For example, if the problem is anxiety regarding
public speaking, the original target may have involved speaking in front
of 15 or 20 people, and a new situation that involves speaking in front
of 50 people might require re-treatment.
11. Question: I can't seem to get my distress level reduced below 4 on the SUD scale, is there anything I can do to get it to go down to zero?
Answer: When some improvement has been seen
but a complete resolution has not occurred there are several things to
look at. First, some problems are not ready to be completely eliminated,
for example, recent loss of a loved one and the associated grief. Or,
with anger at some situation that is current or on-going it may be productive
to have some moderate levels of the distress which helps protect ourselves.
When that is not the case and the reason the distress level does not continue
to decline is due to interfering polarity reversals that occur during
the treatment process and Booster Polarity Reversals are needed. While
the usual protocol has two Booster PRs, it may be necessary to administer
Booster PRs on all the themes listed for Polarity Reversals, (see pages
70-71) and repeat each of these again at the point in the procedure that
you become stuck and nothing else has helped.
12. Question: I'm having difficulty figuring out what a special or what you call a 'idiosyncratic' polarity reversal for me might be. Nothing comes to mind as a theme to correct. What should I do?
Answer: Sometimes we can determine what
our unique or special theme is and sometimes it eludes us. While the list
of special reversals on page 143 may help, you may have one that does
not appear on that list. In that case, you might ask a close friend or
family member if they might identify a theme in your belief system that
they can recognize. Sometimes a person who knows you well might say that
they notice you seem to act as if don't trust yourself enough. That may
be an observation that fits one of the themes on the list, but that you
could not see for yourself. Or, they may identify a theme that is not
on the list but pertains to you. Finally, if you are still stuck and can't
identify any special reversal rub the chest spot and repeat the statement
three times, "I deeply and completely accept myself, even if I have some
life belief that prevents me from getting over this problem." Though not
as powerful as identifying the specific theme, such a statement can work
if you keep your thoughts on the possibility of such an interfering theme
or belief.
13. Question: I have been doing polarity reversal corrections on my five-year-old boy, but it only seems to work to calm him down once awhile. What can I do to make it more effective?
Answer: As children grow and develop, so
does the complexity of their thoughts and their polarity reversals. If
you are only tapping on the side of the hand, as will work for infants
and sometimes toddlers, you may need to make an intention statement in
his presence. If you have been doing that already, then there may be other
reasons for his mood changes. Polarity reversals by themselves may not
always solve the distress. You may want to try administering a tap sequence
that is appropriate for the mood that you believe he is experiencing.
For example, if he appears anxious, angry, frustrated, has hurt feelings,
or is disappointed, use the appropriate Tap Sequence after you've done
all the Polarity Reversal corrections. For smaller children such as your
five-year-old, you can administer the PRs in stages if he will not sit
still long enough to go through the entire series in one sitting. Then
the Tap Sequence can be administered without the Bridge and see how he
is doing. Also, consider that the underlying problem may need some other
measures as well, such as talking about the problem emotion, or problem
solving his troubling situation.
14. Question: I'm not sure if I'm tapping hard enough. How can I tell if I'm using enough pressure?
Answer: The tapping process is a little
bit like pushing down on the plunger of a mechanical spray bottle, there
is a point at which the pressure is sufficient to create the spray and
less pressure does not produce the needed effect, while extra pressure
does little to improve the dispersion of the liquid in the bottle. Tapping
has a threshold to produce an effect while tapping much harder may only
cause a bruise or discomfort and not extra benefit. Generally, if you
tap with sufficient pressure to activate the keys on a computer keyboard
or firm enough to activate the keypad of a telephone you will be tapping
sufficiently to activate an acupuncture site. The reason for tapping 7
to 10 times is to ensure that you provide enough stimulation. If your
tapping is so light that you would not click the keypad of a computer
or telephone then you may not be tapping hard enough. Tap more firmly,
but not so much as to cause discomfort or pain. Some people do find that
some tap sites are tender, but tapping should not hurt.
15. Question: I have read the book and question #5 and I'm still a bit confused about how to apply the Polarity Reversals in Phase 2 and 3 of the Optimizer. Can you help?
Answer: Phase 2 begins when you have cleared away any negative emotions associated with your goal. Let's say you are working on improving your abilty to present to a busines audience, such as a sales presentation. Any anxiety, worry, or other interferring emotion is addressed with the basic tap sequence.
Now you are at a 0 or maybe a 1 on the SUDS when you think about giving the presentation. You are now ready for Phase 2. If you have just completed the Tap Sequences and have recently (within a few hours) done the Balanced Breathing there is no need to redo it.
Now you formulate the positive goal statement. Let say it's something like: "I speak to a group with confidence and calm" Note that the statement is in present tense, active, and contains the elements that may be important for you.Now you rate how true the statement feels or how strongly you believe the statement on a 0 to +10 scale (VOC page 208). In many cases it will already have some positive valence due to the removal of anxiety or other negative emotions. Let's say it's a +2 in believability.
Next you go through the PR corrections. The intention here is to correct any blocks to 'disbelief' in the statement. (We might add here that it is important that the positive goal statement have rational plausability, that is, it could be true. If the goal statement is beyond the realm of possibility, such as "I present with the power and effectiveness of Anthony Robbins" may not be realistic if you are a novice speaker). The PR correction statements would be something like, "I deeply and completely accept myself, even if I want to keep this disbelief in my goal statement." Remember there is nothing sacred or magical about the words. It is the concept of disbelief in the goal statement that is being addressed, you can modify the words to feel comfortable.
After clearing the reversals on all themes you apply the Tap Sequence on page 216. Then rate the VOC. If you are at a +9 or +10 move to the Eye Roll and then Phase 3, if not, administer a Booster PR correction, "I fully accept myself, even though I still have SOME disbelief," etc. The reapply the Tap Sequence procedure and repeat until you are at a high level of belief or validity in the statement.
Finally, Phase 3. Now you IMAGINE the goal statement as you would like it to appear, and rate the level of believability in the IMAGERY of the goal. For most people, by this point the VOI (page 212) will be up there, maybe a +5, +6, or even higher. Regardless, you administer the PRs for VOI. You are now correcting for any disbelief in the imagery. Then administer the Tap Sequence with associated imagery of the goal (page 217) with the objective being a level of +9 or +10. If stuck, administer Booster PRs (page 258) and repeat until satisfied with the confidence level you have achieved.
16. Question: Can ESM be used for weight loss?
Answer: Yes, the method does work for weight loss, however, with weight loss the situation is more complex then merely turning off an urge for eating. We must eat to live and therefore there is a demand for recurring decisions as to what to eat, how much, and how often. The use of ESM is for eliminating self-sabotage (correcting for Polarity Reversals) and to turn off unproductive urges for food (in-between meal snacks, second helpings, and cravings for temptation foods (pastries, excessive desserts, etc.) The ESM techniques should be used in combination with a program of regular exercise (here is where the PRs can help with motivation and removing the blocks to exercise), good eating habits, and reasonable weight loss goals.
17.Question: Thank you so much for writing this great book! I am part way through it and know it is the answer to a lot of my problems. I have at this time one question that I haven't been able to answer. the question is: Every time I do a protocol, do I need to do all 12 polarity themes or use one that most closely fits my problem? I hope that makes sense. I wish I had it years ago when I was a competitive target shooter. I know it would have helped me with my nervousness which held me back from being a great shooter instead of a very good shooter.
Answer: Thanks for writing to us. Whenever you target a particular problem or emotion with the method you should correct for all 12 polarity themes. As you progress through a problem, if you apply a different Tap Sequence for the same problem you do not need to do the PR corrections again. However, if you focus on a new problem then it will be best to do the PR corrections again on that new target. For example, if your target is anxiety about an upcoming competition you would do the Balanced Breathing, then correct for all 12 PRs, then do the Tap Sequence for Anticipatory Anxiety. Now suppose you drop the anxiety level from an 8 to a 4, and you now focus on that remaining anxiety and discover you are thinking about the disappointment with your performance at some previous competition and that is related to your current distress. No need to redo the PR corrections as you apply the Tap Sequence for Frustration (Disappointment, pg161). On the other hand, if you went from an 8 to a 4 and then discovered a new issue, such as anger or sorrow related to how your father would berate and criticize you for doing poorly in school or some activity as a child, that would be a new problem and it would be best to correct all PRs related to that new target.
18.Question: How many times do I tap per site (not the sites with *asterisks) before moving on to the next tap site?
Answer: Tap each site about 7 to 10 times (unless directed otherwise). Sites with Astericks should be tapped continuously while making the Intention Statement 3 times.
19.Question: Do I need to keep an appropriate thought (depending on the protocol) in mind while tapping, similar to the way you suggest for the PR's in FAQ #3?
Answer: Yes, while going through the Tap Sequence keep the emotional problem in your thoughts.
20.Question: Do I need to keep an appropriate thought(depending on the protocol) in mind while using the 5 step breathing excercise and its tapping sequences?
Answer: No. The 5-step breathing exercise is not 'problem-specific' and you may merely focus on the exercise itself as you do it (meaning, you can think about anything you wish).
21.Question: Do I need to keep an appropriate thought (depending on the protocol) in mind when using the bridge and eye rolls?
Answer: Yes, when doing these two procedures you are treating a specific emotional target and that should be in your thoughts during the Bridge and Eye Roll.
NOTE: We would love to hear some of your success stories and they can be an inspiration to others. Please email your successes as well as any challenges you may have experienced and thank you for being open to exploring this new way of managing emotions.